Qualities of effective Muslim Parents:
By Zohra Rasool.
Our beautiful religion Islam, lays great emphasis on the rights of parents on their offspring while at the same time it has been made clear that the parents are responsible for the wellbeing and upbringing of their children. Parents are the role models followed by their children so its very important that they themselves are believers, pious and mature in addition to being knowledgeable about the skills required for effective parenting. The role of a Muslim parent is very vital since the parent must teach his/her children about striking a balance between “Duniya” and “Akhirah”.
An effective Muslim parent helps develop qualities in children such as piety, honesty, mercy, self-control, patience, obedience, generosity and kindness etc. But how? The answer is very simple, by adopting the trait him/herself first. Now let’s discuss the qualities of effective Muslim Parent in detail:
Kindness plays a pivotal role in the training of children, its importance in our lives can be gauged from the fact that our own creator, the almighty is so Rahman (ﷻ) with all his creations despite their wrong doings. In addition to this, it was one of the qualities of our beloved Holy Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) whose life is a manual with examples to lead our lives. How can we not be kind towards our own children?
Your child is like a plant that needs to be showered with your love, mercy and attention and the absence of these will result in a weak and withered plant. If you are not kind to your kids, then gradually they will distance themselves from you since that’s human nature that we are attracted to kindness and vice versa. Merciful parents have kind children since they learn to be kind from watching them.
A parenting study has found that being a loving and affectionate parent while still providing parental guidance was most important in raising happy kids. This was taught by our deen and our beloved Prophet (ﷺ) long ago. The following Hadith explains the importance of this trait in a Muslim Parent.
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (ﷺ) kissed his grandson Hasan bin ‘Ali in the presence of Aqra’ bin Habis. Thereupon Aqra’ remarked: “I have ten children and I have never kissed any one of them.” The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) cast a glance upon him and said, “He who does not show mercy to others, will not be shown mercy.”
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Be what you want to see your child (as an adult in future). Your child is watching you every day being patient (or otherwise) with family, friends, colleagues, servants, ups and down of life etc. They are learning through experience, environment, modeling, and imitation. Be what you want to see. This will help you be the guiding light in your child’s life, as well as your own. By paying attention, being an active listener, not yelling at him and making eye contact when talking with your child, teaches him that patience is about listening, and being present in the lovely bond of parent- child.
A parent especially a mom’s lap is the first school of any child, so we must know how to introduce Islamic manners/education to our children not just by teaching them only but by adopting them and making them an essential part of the homes environment. Children follow what they see much more easily than what they are taught.
Anas Bin Malik (RA) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said “Be kind to your children and teach them good manners” (Sunan Ibn Majah, The Chapters on Etiquettes).
5) A positive Muslim Role Model:
Being a positive Muslim role model for good behavior is way better than giving instructions in raising your children, since kids learn through watching parents and often copy the behavior of their parents e.g. Muslim parents who follow the Deen/Sunnah and avoid anger through calm discussions rather than heated arguments become healthy role models.
Be the Good Muslim/Muslimah you hope to see your child one day in sha Allah!
Share the trait/s you feel are important for being an effective Muslim parent in the comments section.